bluelightdistrictfandomcom-20200214-history
Second battle of Yiffland
The second battle of Yiffland, also known as the great rawr, took place on the 2nd of May of 2025. Background By March of 2025, the furry and /b/ loli poster factions had advanced about two kilometers into Birmingham from the southern and eastern front by progressively undermining the morale of the UKIP and /pol/ forces defending the city, projecting lolicon 24/7 into their positions and airdropping used adult diapers on them during the first battle of Yiffland. This advance came to a halt when the spiderman bread division carried out an extensive attack on their systems, deleting all of their CP and g/yiff folders and forcing them to resort to physical contact in order to get off. This severely affected the furries, who up until then had not had physical contact with another non-animal living being for, often, more than a decade. The loli posters, however, were the ones to take the most casualties: Lacking any sort of loli porn or children to jerk off to for more than a week, most entered a state of withdrawal and became catatonic, giving the other factions a chance to strike back Battle Seeing as furries were distracted engaging in depraved acts between themselves and the loli posters were completely zoned out, UKIP decided to carry out a counter attack. A team of fifteen men would rush behind furry positions from the sewers while another team tried to distract them. Among the fifteen men sent to flank them were soldiers Steven "El Jefe" Marison, leader of the team with over 10 years experience in pedo hunting; Dennis Huddersfield, a young psychopathic ex-marksman for the british army; and Lord Wayne of Canadia, former drill instructor for the Royal Canadian mounted police before the collapse of the monarchy. The attack was coordinated from UKIP positions by General Squidberg, a former lolicon poster turned /pol/ack after the jannies started allowing real CP in the board. The team moved out at 15:00GMT local time, descending into the sewers of what once was the most scuffed city in England. As the team moved through the sewers, avoiding and killing rats and mutant super-brummies, they started hearing cringey noises coming from above; they were right under furry positions. Steven instructed the team to silently pop up at the next manhole, and subsequently give the signal to central command to begin the distraction. As the attack commenced, the furries abruptly stopped RPing and quickly scattered, dicks still out of their fursuits, and went to grab their MLP themed reglamentary AR-15s. As they approached the armory, however, they were met with direct machine gun fire and sniper shots from the balconies around it. This resulted in considerable casualties among the furries, those who survived being mildly disturbed by the sight of the comrades they had been inside of not 10 minutes ago laying dead on the ground, their heads turned into something akin to bloody dog barf and their fursuits completely dyed red. Seeing as the attack was a success, Steven Marison asked for extraction to central command, but received no response. He then decided it would be best to all go back through the sewers, to which Dennis opposed, claiming she wanted to provide cover for them. After a brief argument over who was more of a bint, Steven agreed to leave Dennis behind on the condition she went hunting moose with him afterwards. As the team was approaching the manhole through which they had popped up, they found a team of furries inspecting it. It was then decided they would have to make a run for it on open ground, so they headed straight back to base through alleys and abandoned buildings. As the team entered an abandoned factory trying to avoid a group of furries outside, they were found and immediately fired upon. They ducked for cover, but in doing so Lord Wayne hit his pinky toe with a corner, which left him limping, yelping in pain and unable to walk. A quick glance was all they needed, Wayne provided cover for Steven and the rest while they made a run for it. As they were exiting the door, however, Steven was hit by a fucking stray aids-ridden tactical diaper right in the face. As he came to the realization of what had just happened, he lifted his rifle, deep throated the barrel and pulled the trigger. Upon seeing this, Wayne was distracted and killed by the furries advancing on his position. The rest of the team was able to escape and reach the base, where they found squid taking a fucking nap with the comms on don't disturb mode. Fucking asshat. As they turned the comms back on after squid was severely reprimanded and demoted, they received a message from the furries: On the screen appeared what looked to be a morbidly fat, greasy man wearing woman's clothing and holding the severed head of Dennis. It was no less than the supreme commander of the tranny furry allegiance, "Gamma De-Ranged" Pieter. Aftermath UKIP successfully halted the invasion of Birmingham by the furries for the next five months, at the loss of some of the most autistic people in their ranks and the demotion of General Squidberg, who would from then on be known as Private Squid until the end of the war. This tactical victory would lead to some of the most devastating attacks on the degenerates during the war, and is generally considered to be the turning point of the British-European civil war.